Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)
Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things is by Canadian filmmaker Bob Clark who is best know for the 1974 slasher/horror movie Black Christmas and and the 1982 raunchy teen comedy Porky’s. Before these Clark had a go at making a couple of Zombie films,Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things in 1973 and Dead of the Night in 1974.
Mention this movie to people and they say, “God that film was good, so scary, his zombies were so gory.” To those people I say, sure it was, how old were you? 9, maybe 10? Watch it again and then tell me what you think.
Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things is a very long 87 minutes, Zombie David and I were constantly looking at our watches wondering if there were going to be any zombies in this zombie movie. Then at 1 Hour ## Minutes ## Seconds they showed up. Was it worth the wait, well not really, I mean they looked OK, and were pretty scary but wading through the thick, heavy, dialogue and bad acting was very tiring, and by the time we got there we didn’t care.
Theater director Alan, played by Alan Ormsby one of the co-writers of this movie, takes a group of actors to an island with the plans to play a practical joke on them. He tricks the actors into exhuming Orville Dunworth from the island’s graveyard. He reads some incantations from a magic book and he and his two camp actor friends scare the group. Unknown to them him the incantations worked and a while later Orville and the rest of the dead rise up and go on a rampage.
Everyone has to start somewhere and Bob Clark started here, his films did however get better, much better. This might be a classic to some, but to us it was badly written and acted, that said the zombies were good and back in 1973 we can see that the last 20 minutes of the film would of been very scary.
Best Line: “I peed in my pants!, I peed in my pants!, I peed in my pants!”
First Bite – 1 Hour 17 min 15 secs
Zombie Bite Count – 3
First Zombie Kill – 1 Hour 45 min 41 secs
Zombie Kill Count – 0+